Outsider looking in

For those who are a major art lover, Art Expo 2013 is one event you don’t wanna miss. It showcases about 2,000 pieces of artworks from all over the world including Spain, Italy, Iran, Singapore, Myanmar, Indonesia and of course Malaysia.

City Landscape Kuala Lumpur by Jansen Chow. It was sold for RM19,500 (my husband's fav)

Yusof Ghani's work- Bayu Biru. It is currently valued at RM95,000

Another artwork influence by KL city light

More artworks by Malaysian talents

I have always been a fan of artworks, especially painting and sculptors, and working in my current company gives me a chance to learn and observe this colourful or sometimes colourless industry. I have grown to appreciate the difference concept of art, i.e. cubism, abstract, still life, contemporary etc.

But first I need to put a disclaimer that whatever I write in my blog is purely from a shallow perspective, so don’t sue me if I get my facts wrong. I have only gotten to know a handful of artist and a little bit of their background and their work i.e. Pablo Picasso  (you must have been living under a rock if you have never heard this name before), Cloude Monet, Edward Hopper, and as for Malaysian talents, Abu Mutalib, Hamir Soib, Hussin Hourmain, Yusof Ghani, Eng Hwee Chu and Tan Chi Kuan.

Artworks from Russia

The Precious Message by Kim Eun-Ok (Korea) It is an oil painting on a wood canvas. Currently valued at USD3,000

I actually had the privilege of meeting two of the above mentioned artists in their studio in my first month on the job. Their journey is a fascinating story.

Artworks from Switzerland

Some msges are pretty sad

Anyway Art Expo Malaysia is the first art exhibition that I have the opportunity to attend. Ignorant of this industry I was pleasantly surprise to see the crowd. I have always  thought only major douches would turn up to this sort of event, wearing a penguin suit with their noses in the air and holding a glass of wine or some sort of fancy drink. I always had the idea that this scene is only accessible to the rich and famous. But I am delighted to see normal people walking around the exhibit, chatting amongst themselves while admiring the artworks. Guess I am the one who was living under a rock.

Art Installation

Art Installation

Moving slowly from one booth to another, I’ve started to notice the differences in each artwork, which are perhaps influence by the environment where they came from. Like for examples, artworks from Korea is influence by the colourful dresses women wear, Saekdongot (again don’t sue me if I’m wrong) and I’ve noted artworks originated from Switzerland looks sooooo flawless, sooo perfect. To the untrained eyes of mine they look as though they are the printed version of the original work.

I actually persuaded my husband to go with me to the expo, so that I could impart my shallow knowledge upon him, in hopes that he might finance this expensive passion of mine later on. But being a typical caveman that he is, he look absolutely bored while I gushes over the paintings that I wish were mine (dare to dream babeh)  

I left the expo feeling exhilarated and inspired to learn and understand more about this industry.

 

Artwork from Iran entitled The Queen

I need a holiday after a holiday

Malacca is not a foreign domain for me. I have been going to Malacca at least twice a year because of weddings, work or simply for a weekend gateway. Malacca has never failed in captivating me with its rich history and culture, the sinfully delicious foods and the charming atmosphere the little shops in Jonker Street provides.

However, my short vacation to Malacca over the Malaysia Day's weekend has been the most memorable one I’ve had so far. It’s all down to a little guest house by the Malacca riverside called Oriental Riverside Residences which is located in the heart of Malacca city.

The charming guesthouse 

Our first night in Malacca

Teh tarik session after dinner

When I first set my eyes on the place, I’d thought to myself, "Well, this is different".  It really is different from all the hotels or motels I've stayed in.  At least the rooms always came with an attached bathroom.  (yea yea i'm a bit spoilt)

Oriental Riverside Residences is a three storey shop lot that has been converted into a guesthouse. It has 8 rooms, 2 bathrooms, 1 common room and 1 kitchen. I've had the pleasure of staying in room number 6, on the top floor. Luckily for me, my room comes with a so-called bathroom. It’s not a real bathroom so to speak, but more like an outdoor space with high walls, and a zinc rooftop with a working sink and a green plastic dipper.

Basic standard room, RM78 per night

But what they lack in luxury and comfort, they sure make it up in warmth hospitality and diversity in tenants. The host of the guesthouse is a European couple who's been in Malaysia for a few months and are helping the owner of the guesthouse whenever he's away.  Arnold is an IT programmer from Germany and Hilda is a banker from Belgium. The two of them are a hard core traveller and they have been exploring the world, especially Asian countries for 30 years now. Arnold is extremely friendly and funny while Hilda is exceptionally knowledgeable.

Our last night in Malacca with Arnold, Hilda, Eva & Thomas

Staying at Oriental Riverside Residences also offers a few other perks. It’s close to everything! We didn’t have to venture far for food and shopping as it is only a 5 minute walk to Jonker Street. And plus along the riverside there’s plenty of small café and pubs for you to hang out or have a nice meal.

Morning stroll by the riverside

Otw to Jonker Street

One of the many reasons y i love Malacca

@ Jonker Street

Jonker Street Night Market

Pretty cute right?

Korean guest house by the riverside

During our stay in the guesthouse, my family and I have the pleasure of meeting another couple from a small town near Frankfurt, Germany, Eva and Thomas. Eva is a frequent traveller as well and they have been in Malaysia for a few days. Malacca is their second destination before they start their journey south.  We also met a couple of girls from Korea, one who was a victim of a snatch thieft on her first day in Malacca! Poor girl. She still have a scar on her neck, where the assholes snatched her necklace.

Alrite, enough about the guesthouse. Let's talk about Malaysian's favourite topic; FOOD! Everyone knows that Malacca is famous for its Ikan Assam Pedas. But the best place that offers the dish would be Kari Kepala Ikan Hajah Rahmah. Yup based on the name itself you can tell that the shop is also famous for their fish head curry. I’m not a big fan of fish head curry but I definitely love the asam pedas.

Double portion of these = RM198

Until my recent visit I’d never knew about the existence of a malay shop that sells the best kueh melaka that I’ve ever tasted in Jonker Street. The shop is located opposite a chicken rice shop (yea it doesn’t help does it?) But if I’m not mistaken it’s the only malay shop that sells food in Jonker Street. I highly recommend that you guys try this out on your next visit Malacca.

But my favourite food joint would be Bistro 1673 which is also on Jonker Street. It is a bit hidden from the street as you need to go through a sort of an alley (don’t worry it’s not a dodgy alley as the alley serves as an entrance to the restaurant) to get to the bistro. It’s an open space restaurant that has a variety of food and provides really nice setting. And uh, they also have a live band. My brother-in-law even performed a song, “When you say nothing at all” with the band. He’s a real crowd pleaser.

My fav is the marinara spaghetti 

Fahim, the natural performer

No trip to Malacca would be complete without having a seafood dinner at Umbai. However after having a taste of the sweet and fresh seafood that Sabah offers, I feel that my taste bud have develop an appreciation of finer things in life, thus making Umbai seafood not as good as how I remembered it. Nevertheless, Umbai is still a must-have stop on your visit to Malacca.

@ Umbai

Cookie Monster

My family is known to have a sweet tooth especially my father-in-law, my youngest brother in law and me. We love all type of desserts!! But our all-time undeniable favourite would be the Famous Amos  Chocolate Chip Pecan cookies!! Whenever we walk pass a Famous Amos stall we wouldn’t be able to resist the sweet aroma that is wafting through the air. Mmmm just thinking about it makes me drool. Yes yes  it’s no wonder why I have not achieve my dream of having toned and lean body like Megan Fox. But dare to dream babeh.

Well anyway, the last Aidilfitri, I've tried making double chocolate chip cookies using various recipes from various sources and although I've wasted a lot of flour, butter, sugar etc, I have manage to find a recipe that resembles Famous Amos cookies. I can't quite replicate the smell that seems to linger in every Famous Amos stall, but the taste is pretty much the same.

Since I was making a batch of these delicious cookies upon request from my youngest brother in law last night, I thought I’ll share the recipe here.

Ingredients

125 grams dark chocolate (minimum 70% cocoa solids)

150 grams plain flour

30 grams cocoa powder (sieved)

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

½ teaspoon salt

125 grams soft butter

75 grams soft light brown sugar

50 grams white sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 large egg (cold from the fridge)

350 grams dark chocolate chips (or semi sweet chocolate morsels)

Method

1. Preheat the oven to 170°C/gas mark 3/325ºF. Melt the 125g / 4oz dark chocolate either in the microwave or in a heatproof dish over a pan of simmering water.

2. Put the flour, cocoa, bicarbonate of soda and salt into a bowl.

3. Cream the butter and sugars in another bowl. Add the melted chocolate and mix together.

4. Beat in the vanilla extract and cold egg, and then mix in the dry ingredients. Finally stir in the chocolate morsels or chips.

5. Scoop out equal-sized mounds and place on a lined baking sheet about 6cm apart. Do not flatten them.

6. Cook for 8 minutes, testing with a cake tester to make sure it comes out semi-clean and not wet with cake batter. If you pierce a chocolate chip, try again.

7. Leave to cool slightly on the baking sheet for 4-5 minutes, and then transfer them to a cooling rack to harden as they cool.

Before

After

Skeleton in my closet

Since this is my first blog entry, I thought I should start it off with a bang. By that, I mean I'm about to tell the whole world one of my biggest secret ever. Why? I've struggled with this issue for a while and I realised that by telling someone about it, made me feel liberated and thus helping me in overcoming the biggest obstacle in my life. And I do hope that my experience will be able to help other women who are suffering in silence.

30^th April 2011 may be the happiest day in my life as I was officially married to my childhood sweetheart in a fairy tale wedding, after being together for more than 8 years. After months of stressful planning and preparing for the big day, both of us were looking forward to our honeymoon, for some pampering and relaxation and of course, intimacy. 

Wedding Photos

Unfortunately our honeymoon ended up disastrously as his needs for intimacy wasn't fulfilled. He was frustrated and I was miserable. We have tried so many times, in so many ways and yet two years have gone by and I still remained a virgin.  After consulting numerous doctors, the result was still the same. One of the doctors even had the gall to say that “it was all in my head” and that if I do not resolve this soon then my marriage was pretty much over. I was utterly heartbroken. But my husband assured me that he would always be with me no matter what. But I’m no fool. One thing I know for a fact is that love does not conquer it all. This is not a Shakespeare’s play, this is real life.

To make things worse is that people keep asking about when we are planning to start a family. Whenever my husband and I try to end the topic by saying we weren’t financially ready yet, we would always get the disapproval and sometimes disgusting looks from them. And my in-laws’ hope of seeing a baby in the family only led to more tears on my end.

Happier Times

After searching the internet for months, I stumbled upon a website called www.vaginismus.com. After reading the testimonials of women facing the same problem and experiencing the same heartache, I cried for I finally realised that I was not alone and that there is a solution to it.

What is vaginismus? Here’s the complete definition;

“Vaginismus is a condition where there is involuntary tightness of the vagina during attempted intercourse. The tightness is actually caused by involuntary contractions of the pelvic floor muscles surrounding the vagina. The woman does not directly control or 'will' the tightness to occur; it is an involuntary pelvic response. She may not even have any awareness that the muscle response is causing the tightness or penetration problem.

In some cases vaginismus tightness may begin to cause burning, pain, stinging during intercourse. In other cases, penetration may be difficult or completely impossible. Vaginismus is the main cause of unconsummated relationships. The tightness can be so restrictive that the opening to the vagina is 'closed off' altogether and the man is unable to insert his penis. The pain of vaginismus ends when the sexual attempt stops, and usually intercourse must be halted due to pain or discomfort.”

Well basically it means that the Pelvic Floor Muscles would tighten the vagina entry whenever it feels threatened, making penetration sex impossible.

I immediately ordered the vaginismus kit but I admit it took me a few months to open the package and face my fear. I suppose I was afraid that what if this kit doesn’t work? Then what? 

The complete kit

In all those time when I was procrastinating, kidding myself that perhaps the problem would simply disappear, I forgot that I wasn’t the only victim here. My husband too suffered. Despite my best effort to satisfy his manly needs, he withdrew from me. It felt as if there was a barrier between us. We weren’t talking anymore and he rejected some of my advances. I knew it was time for me to confide in someone and ask for help.

The person that I turned to was my mother-in-law. Like all the doctors I’ve consulted before, she too thought it was just a simple matter of me unable to stand the pain. But after she spoke to some of her friends in the medical field, she finally understood the issue and she tried her hardest to help me. On her friend’s advice, I was referred to a physiologist who specialists in unusual cases.

My first therapy session was a major breakthrough for me. Talking about my problem so openly without any judgement made me feel so liberated and somehow it felt as if the huge burden of carrying this secret alone was lifted. I finally started to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

With the aid of the vaginismus kit and the therapy session, I am proud to say that I’m a virgin no more! Although I have managed to conquer my biggest obstacle yet, my therapist said that it is still a long way to go before I can achieve a wholesome sexual experience. But that’s alright. The most important thing is that the hard part is over and that I’m on the right path to recovery.

The silver lining from all this?  My husband is my rock. Without his patience, support and encouragement, I wouldn’t be able to face it, let alone conquer it.

If you have any questions regarding vaginismus, feel free to drop me an email.